Experience with suicide

[~cheetah]

This is something that is very hard for me to talk about right now. Anyway, last night my sister tried to kill herself with an overdose of prescription medication. Luckily the police found her in time (by some miracle) before she was gone. She in the intensive care unit in Tucson right now. There was a note and will that was found at the scene as well, so this wasn't just a cry for help. She meant to finish the job. Needless to say, I'm in shock. None of us in the family had any clue she would do such a thing.

Has anyone else on EGN had a similar experience with family or friends??? Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated as always.

[~NightHalo]

My mother did the same thing when I was 10. She tried to do it out of guilt and helplessness though. She was being beaten up everyday, she did drugs, and she was losing her house. Luckily I found her and told her boyfriend and she made it to the hospital in time. I don't think she regrets not dying because about two years later she had my youngest brother and that really seemed to brighten her life up.

I am not sure what to offer as advice. I can only imagine that your sister needs as much support as possible now. Listen to what she has to say and see what was the motivating factor. Maybe you can help in those things.

I wish your sister and you the best of luck. :)

[Electroswank]

cheetah, i have VERY personal experiences with this topic i would rather not discuss on the board - feel free to email me or IM me tho - i'd love to chat with you about this.

XO

[~cliffwalk]

Wow :( well that's harsh. I am so very sorry you are going through this.

You need to let your emotions about this run their course or you wont be any help at all for your sister. That's one thing I do know. You are probably going to be a combination of mad, indifferent, sad, scared, confused, and the remaining catalog of fun life has our brains programmed to use as a reaction. It's all natural. Suicide is one of THE MOST F.UCKED UP things to deal with.

Do I have the experience with it? :( :( yes, but the details aren't exactly somewhere I'd like to go.

One thing you need to remind yourself: Suicide is a choice whether it's a success or a failure. A choice. If it comes from a sickness (which it almost always does) then your role is only to help your sister find, get, and follow through on help.

Remember one thing in the months to come... one role that does not belong to anyone but your sister is the one that too many people assume is the primary goal:

Keeping her alive. She's alive by the grace of ... (fill in the blank) ... the only one that can truly control whether or not she stays that way is her. She's been given a second chance at life. Help her take it and if you have it in you, help her see what a gift life is...

You may or may not be able to sell her on that.

Strange response, I'm sure... My feelings about suicide are derived from having a close high school friend hang himself on Prom night and then following that up the next year with another friend who tossed herself in front of a moving train after she broke up with her boyfriend.

In both cases I can't describe my reaction but one thing was made remarkably clear to me. If someone isn't pursued that life is worth living then they will end it first chance they get....

Stay as positive as you can and approach this with love. Your love as a brother is the best thing for her right now.

Dave

[test]

i'm sorry to hear this cheeta:( i too had personal experiences with this topic i believe i can help you a lot, give you some ideas about how to deal with yor sister...

IM me

cheers!

[~Jonna]

My condolences on your situation. Back in high school a skater friend of mine hung himself in his parent's basement. I never even new that there was a problem because we were all miserable at that age.

[~melibita]

I'm glad your sister has another chance to see how precious life really. I have personal matters with this subject as well that I do not want to discuss but you still have your sister. Being there for for her is the most important thing she needs right now.

[~scuba_cop]

suicide is a very difficult thing to fully understand, some say it a selfish notion while i myself have even discovered explainations for why it isnt. i dont think i can elaborate on my theories so early here without out creating unessesary controversy or misinterpretation, but im in the same boat as the other posters here and i dont want to openly discuss my experiences...

your sister is suddenly going to recieve more attention than she probably wants but how that attention is focused on her will ultimately determine her recovery...
she might need time to realize on her own that she wants life, the ppl persueding those whom are suicidal can be shut out on the simple premise that others just dont understand. but suicide is can be very simple and predictable. i think i would help to for your sister to seriously reflect upon not just the things that persuaded her the act suicidal, but the things that she may havent ever thought of.............that what i had to do

[~IntrospecT]

Cheetah,

I'm sorry for your grief right now. I've dealt with this on a personal as well as professional (nurse) sides. If you would like to talk, feel free to email me personally at fourteen59@aol.com

I wish the best for you and your family...

Sean

[~labrat]

Chris, I'm terribly sorry to hear that you're going through this. Stay strong for your sister, she's going to need you in the following days. If you need to talk, feel free to IM me.

[~CaffeineQueen]

ah man.. i am sorry abour your sister.... As an old friend once said, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem... That isn't true all the time, but still... I know how it is, and how personal it can be.. How it can eat away at you from the inside, whether it is a friend who is wanting to commit suicide, family, or even yourself.... If you want to talk about it though, feel perfectly free to PM me or something..I have been through it before myself, so perhaps i can provide some insight if you wish to hear it..

[~cheetah]

Thank you so much for all your support. Not that I'm surprised in any way by it. You all have good hearts and I'm happy to be able to count on you as friends. Sorry to hear how many of you have been touched by this subject. I'm sure my story is tame compared to some of yours.

I'm still sorting out my feelings about this whole ordeal, so nothing is clear to me just yet. When the initial shock subsides a bit then maybe I'll able to cope a little better with it. Beware, I may be seeking advice from everyone who offered. Thanks for the offers.

Thanks again for everything!!! You guys are wonderful. :)

[7red7]

Chris, I'm so sorry to heart about your sister, and find you guys are in tough times right now...I can't really explain the details of my going through what you sister did on the boards, but please know that I know exactly where you are right now, and I definately feel your pain...All I know is, the love of my family and friends and they're "being there" for me was what got me through it...

Just keep yourself strong and keep your family together and let your sister know she's loved, not alone, and can get through this, and that life without her would be imaginable...

If you need to talk about anything, I'm always here for you buddy :)

I'll definately keep you all in my prayers :)

DAN

[~cheetah]

Thanks Dan!!! You're AWESOME buddy!!! I appreciate your kind words and support. I hope you're feeling better since your accident as well. It still amazes me how prevalent suicide is in our society. Almost everyone I've talked to has either tried it or knows someone who has. That's not good at all. :(

[7red7]

Originally posted by cheetah
Thanks Dan!!! You're AWESOME buddy!!! I appreciate your kind words and support. I hope you're feeling better since your accident as well. It still amazes me how prevalent suicide is in our society. Almost everyone I've talked to has either tried it or knows someone who has. That's not good at all. :(

Hey man no worries, anytime man, I'm always here for my friends :)

And it's very true and very sad that so many people (myself included) that have dealt with suicide...

I hope your sister is doing better, and continues to get stronger everyday :)

Hang in there Chris :)

DAN

[~cliffwalk]

Originally posted by cheetah
It still amazes me how prevalent suicide is in our society. Almost everyone I've talked to has either tried it or knows someone who has. That's not good at all. :(

You're right. It is amazing. I don't think I know anyone who doesn't have atleast one "Suicide Story" to share. I, unfortunately, have a few and I think that has more to do with knowing a lot of artists/actors... creative types seem to have the market share on attemping and sometimes succeeding at suicide.

Just give yourself the latitude to be human. Let yourself feel emotions that may seem a bit angry or even selfish. Let yourself feel them because they need to come out. They are going to be there. I'm not trying to "overdramatize" what you're going through... it's just... well, you're probably going to have a role in one way or another in being your sister's support system as she tries to figure out how not to let herself get that sad again.

You need to give yourself the space now to sort out your own emotions so you can be strong for her later.

Peace...

Dave